Fear of Commitment — Struggle of the Millennials
I have a fear of commitment. I am 26, and I haven’t held a job for more than 8 months, never had a serious relationship till date and every time I stay in a place for longer than 3 months, I have this urge to run away to a new place.
I have many insecurities, anxieties and what not; but most importantly, I fear getting bored be it of places or people. I know for a fact that I am not the only one who fears getting “stuck.” It is a feat that I have seen in many millennials and the GenZ crowd.
What is the reason of our commitment-o-phobia?
1. Upbringing
I feel, it has a lot to do with how we were raised. As an Indian female from a middle class family, I was always taught to focus on things like getting a stable job, finding the right partner (chosen by the family, of course!) and have kids!
For a long time, this was what I envisioned my future would be because my life threads were in control of my parents, particularly my father. But as I started going out, meeting new people and hearing different opinions, I gathered there’s so much more to life than getting married and settling down.
Most millennials want to live life on their own terms. We want flexibility more than security. We want to work from beaches and mountains while we volunteer to teach the local kids.
2. The swipe tales
When it comes to relationships, most of millennial relations run online. There’s too many “fish in the sea” and the swiping just never stops. I have first hand experience in this arena! I have swiped almost every dating app that has a good UI (I judge a dating app based on it’s looks!)
Be it Bumble, Tinder, Hinge or TrulyMadly, I’ve been on every dating app and realized, it’s an utter waste of time. I think only 2 out of 10 people find “the one” on these apps. These apps are just a way to help us feel good about the way we look and give us a medium to judge, criticize and ghost others!
3. The casual culture
Why commit when you can get all the benefits? This is the mindset of many men and women. I have seen it, I have been it. Although, the benefits are good they outweigh your self worth and all the hurt that comes as a package along with casual relationships.
4. The fear of abandonment
Let’s face it, we all have abandonment issue in some or the other form. I mean, we all want to live in bliss where we don’t give anyone the power to hurt us. The best way to do this is to be aloof. Stop getting emotionally attached and you’ll never have to go through the stress of nursing your broken heart and shattered trust.
In a world where people swipe people as they browse clothes, commitment is scary. Rejection bruises our ego and we would rather spend our lives alone with a dog, a few kittens and a dozen plants.
Conclusion
Yes, a majority of millennials are scared of giving their all be it to jobs, places or people but, we are also the generation that knows what it wants and will do whatever it takes to achieve it. We are independent, obnoxious and aware. We are the millennials!
